Can’t Think Of A Title Right Now

I started meditating this past January. In the beginning, I went like 40+ days straight, mediating each morning before work. That is some kind of miracle, because I don’t think I’ve ever done anything for 40 days in a row. Well, maybe I’ve made a sarcastic comment 40 days steady, but that’s no challenge – that’s necessary for my survival. I’ve probably eaten chocolate 40 days straight too… for the antioxidants. Yes, those health benefits are totally why I eat chocolate. But wait, I was writing about meditation.

Meditation is awesome, now. After years of reading an excessive number of books authored by the Chopras and the Nhat Hanhs of the world, I couldn’t make meditation stick no matter what those guys had to say! I couldn’t get it “to work.” I tried sitting cross-legged on the floor, cross-legged on my bed, cross-legged in the tub, cross-legged in a park, cross-legged at the beach… I may have even sat cross-legged in Teddi-Bear’s bed. She always has a good snooze there, so it seemed like a logical next step. That didn’t work either. That’s right, a small dog’s bed was not suitable for human mediation.

Fast-forward to 2016 and something clicked with meditation and me. Like a really good first date, I wanted to see mediation more! And so I did, like I mentioned up top, for over one month. Then like a lot of relationships, the honeymoon phase started to fade and I opted for hitting the snooze button instead of getting up early to say ‘good morning’ to mediation or I’d pick up my phone and gawk at it instead of embracing meditation. We started seeing each other sporadically, without as much feeling as the months passed by.

And then I went to Maui for holiday. Maui is place where lovers go: newlyweds, retirees, the newly engaged, and rum-lovers. That’s why I go – for the lava flows. Just kidding. Not really. Okay, Maui is more than rum slushies. This trip was straight up vacation for me – just time for a break in a place I love. I didn’t expect to fall head over heels, but I did. I fell head over heels with my old friend, mediation. The fondness I once felt was back! We went everywhere together. The beach! The pool! Strolling along the street! Even on the dance floor with old Drake tracks playing! Maui loves them some old-school Drake.

So I now understand that mediation isn’t something that is or isn’t there like a good or shit boyfriend, it’s with me always, not unlike my ever-present muffin top. I don’t meditate everyday, but I hope to build on my renewed relationship so we are together forever. Kind of what Annie Wilkes wants for her and Paul Sheldon, but without all the drama. Geez,  girl!

Speaking of my muffin top, I finally, officially, joined an actual gym yesterday. Not that I don’t enjoy my double-chocolate MT, it just kind of gets in the way sometimes… but that’s another post.

The Gym

I went to the gym today. Kind of a big deal for me as a runner person. Runner people often just run and do not go to the gym. Why? Because the gym! Just no thank you. There aren’t trees and dogs and sunsets and sunrises and runner people friends and sudden rainstorms and Canadian geese and blue herons and cherry blossoms and blue skies and clouds and starry nights or full moons and oceans in a gym.

But on account of my bum knee keeping me off the seawall, a physio appointment over one week away, and the mild desire to have mini-muffin top instead of a regular muffin top, I went to the gym. For like over an hour.

I’m following the “REDO YOU! SUPER PLAN… IN 9 WEEKS!”, emphasis is not mine, not even the exclamation marks(!) Those are totally owned by whomever edited the shit out of the magazine piece.

In the gym, I met an American person who seems to be a Cavs fan, which is so… American. I explained the finer details of our cable network guide to him and how it’s really a guessing game as to what channel you will ultimately find an NBA game on, because this is Canada, and the cable companies [this shouldn’t even be plural because, like, there’s not really any choice and.. that’s another blog post] hate us all.

So anyway, tonight was PHASE 1 – chest, shoulders, biceps. After 25 minutes of cardio on some kind of crossramp(?) machine (let’s be more creative fitness-industry-people who name things) I hoisted dumbbells up, down and all around until my arms were vibrating. Not unlike a DQ Blizzard machine. Strawberry Cheesequake, yes?!

And you know what? It was a mildly enjoyable experience and I expect to be in some kind of unbearable upper body pain by this time tomorrow. I can’t wait to be just a runner person again.