The Seawall 18

I think I’ve figured out the actual number of lanes needed on the seawall to accommodate everyone, happily:

  1. One – two walkers
  2. Three – six-plus walkers shoulder-to-shoulder who wouldn’t move an inch even if the Pope needed to pass.
  3. Runners
  4. Smokers: cigarette, cigar, and the green (I can see each group lobbying for their own lane.)
  5. People teaching kids how to ride a bike or a trike.
  6. Parents who aren’t watching their children and then those same children wander into the shins of runners and the faces of dogs. Hilarity does not ensue.
  7. Photographers: camera and mobile
  8. People taking selfies
  9. Dog-walkers
  10. Cyclists
  11. People who like to smooch, canoodle, hold hands, and walk, all at once (that’s a lot going on there to manage, maybe take it down to two out of the four.)
  12. Shopping carts
  13. Baby strollers (double-wides may need their own lane.)
  14. Skateboarders
  15. Rollerbladers
  16. Tipsy people and walk of shame people – you know who you are and you can share a lane.
  17. Canadian geese
  18. Raccoons